Baby’s sensitive little feelings

As babies grow, they learn to express their feelings in ways that we can more easily understand. But even from birth, your baby has the gift of communication.

Those yawns during the first days of life or that little frown, scrunched up eyebrows and groan are all innate and help a newborn to express how they feel (tired, uncomfortable, surprised, etc.). Other gestures and expressions however, will be gradually learnt over time and are more culturally-based. Like waving ‘bye bye’ for example.

A baby’s expressive character is partly innate and partly acquired. You can clearly see this for yourself if you pay close attention. We’re here to help…

How babies get their feelings across

• For the first few years of life, babies and toddlers express themselves using their entire bodies. What do young toddlers do when they’re angry? They stamp and wave their arms about; a full-blown tantrum can even have them writhing around on the floor. This ‘whole body’ expression of feelings continues until at least two years of age, then speech starts to take over.

• Don’t confuse expression and temperament. Some children are more boisterous than others, but that doesn’t mean they express their emotions any more or less than another child.

• Children and babies imitate. This aspect is very important when learning to express feelings. Babies develop this ability as soon as they start to notice how people watch and react. If a baby watches her mother closely and she smiles, she will smile too. This attitude sometimes continues into adulthood. Some people even move their lips when they are listening intently to a person speaking.
  

• Babies react differently according to the person they are interacting with. If an older sibling or child coos and touches a young baby, the baby will open his eyes wide, listen carefully and try to imitate the older child. However, when face to face with an adult, he will answer and hold his gaze. A baby has the ability to answer, copy gestures and gradually learn them. Little by little, he adds to her range of expressions.

• We can help to “shape’ a child’s expressive nature. If a child’s parents are expressive themselves, the child is very likely to be expressive too. However, quiet and more distant parents can still have a very emotional child (innate to that child’s personality). The child may not know how to control her emotions simply because s)e has no example to follow,  if the parents don't express their emotions for example.

Observe to understand what feelings your baby is trying to get across

Parents do need to keep in mind that every gesture and attitude depends on their baby's rate of development, the quality of "exchanges" with parents and the "training" the baby receives.  These timelines are therefore for indicative purposes only.

What baby’s doing	At what age?	What does it mean?
Smiles	2-3 months	Social smiling is a form of communication. It helps baby express positive feelings in the future and to interact better with others.
Coos, gurgles	3-6 months	Baby is learning and experimenting with basic language sounds. Your role is important here, gurgle and coo with your baby to stimulate his oral communication.
Waves “bye bye”	8-9 months	Baby is learning about social conduct. This imitative action is closely linked to her relationship with her mother. The more independent your child, the less easy it will be to get her to wave on demand.
Gives an object	12-15 months	Your baby is starting to move away from the maternal bond. He will not systematically imitate any longer, but start to give different responses. If you approach your hand, he will place an object into your palm.
Blows kisses	15 months	Like waving 'bye bye', this is about social conduct. Kisses are extremely important on an emotional level. It’s a way of teaching your baby about being affectionate.
Holds out arms for a hug	18 months	Baby is starting to show feelings in a more tangible way now. She can hold on to you, squeeze you tight and let positive emotions show.
Calls you in the night	18 months	Instead of crying, your baby starts to use words and the names of loved ones. He knows how to call you by saying 'ma-ma' or ‘da-da’.
Doesn’t want to be left alone	18-24 months	Your child wants your help to feel less alone. Your toddler is now an independent little person and when you switch off the lights at night, she may feel alone or abandoned.

Laurent Juillet

Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo

Posted 01.03.2011

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