Possible personality concerns with your baby
During the first few months of your baby's life you will discover both her personality as well as your own personality as a parent.
Your feelings for your baby
© Jupiter
Many women believe that mother love will be turned on like a tap as soon as their baby is born. It can come as rather a shock when after even two or three days they don't feel anything for their baby that resembles love. They may feel tenderness and protectiveness towards this tiny new being who is dependent on them, but they don't feel a strong, binding love.
This is very common and not at all abnormal. Love usually does develop after one or two weeks and until it does, concentrate on enjoying your baby physically: the feel of your baby against your skin; his smell as you put your nose into the crease of his neck; his grip as you put your finger into his tiny palm and feel it grasped tightly.
Postnatal depression in babies
Most women have feelings known as the baby blues after childbirth, caused by the dramatic drop in hormone levels, but these usually soon pass. About 10 per cent of mothers, however, develop postnatal depression (PND), which is more serious and can affect your relationship with your baby. Rapid medical attention is needed - the longer PND is untreated, the longer it can take to resolve. PND has many symptoms, and women experience these in varying combinations. As well as feelings such as hopelessness and despondency, sufferers can experience lethargy, anxiety, tension, sleep difficulties, loss of interest in sex, obsessional thoughts, feelings of guilt, and lack of self-esteem. If you have any of these symptoms don't bottle up your feelings - seek help. The sooner treatment starts, the better and your depression should improve in a few weeks.
Independent personality
Just as there are adults who keep themselves to themselves, so there are some babies like this too. These babies don't smile very much, they respond little to being talked to, they seem not to enjoy playing games, and they don't always like being cuddled. On the other hand, they can become grizzly if placed in a pram or cot and left alone. They can be rather irritable and get upset easily. They tend to cry and are slow, fussy feeders.
When such a baby is tired he is fretful but doesn't go to sleep. All your best efforts fail to make this kind of baby sunny, and you may feel you are lavishing love to little effect. But don't blame yourself - some babies are just like this and you are not alone.
A baby who smiles a lot and exudes joy gets friendship, love, companionship and help in return. The baby who is miserable or who just stays in neutral gets less in return. Life is not so pleasant for him and so he may grow up to be a rather troubled individual. As a parent you may have to work hard to get your child to be more positive. Although you may find it difficult, you have to try your best to get your baby to focus on you, to listen to you, to smile at you. If you can get to this stage, where your baby is responding to your overtures, most of his unhappiness and yours will be a thing of the past.
Babies with disabilities
Babies develop at all speeds from very fast to very slow and it can be difficult to judge what's normal and what's not. If you feel that your baby is not really keeping up with the general social milestones (see Boundaries), check with your doctor. However, minor problems may not show up for several months, so follow your instincts if you think your baby is not developing quite normally and seek early help. The earlier you get help the greater the chance you have of dealing with any abnormality.
If your baby has a physical disability it's often comforting and helpful to talk to people in similar situations so contact any relevant national agencies.
Possibility of head banging
Towards the end of the first year some babies take to banging their head against the end of the cot. This is rarely a sign of abnormality, and there's little risk of brain damage; most babies grow out of it quite quickly. However, do minimize the risk by padding the ends of the cot with a quilted fabric, and by buffering the cot and the wall if this causes an irritating banging noise. Try giving your baby a relaxing bath at bedtime and an extra long cuddle (some psychologists think that such children may need more physical attention and stimulation). Music may also be soothing. If your baby continues to bang his head for several months talk to your doctor.
New Babycare
Copyright © 2009 Dorling Kindersley
Text copyright © 2009 Miriam Stoppard
Posted 03.11.2010
Get more on this subject…
