Possible sleeping problems for toddlers

Leave some special toys or board books beside your child's bed to keep her occupied when she first wakes in the morning, or after her nap.

Toodlers waking in the night

It's been estimated that 15 per cent of two year olds wake regularly in the night and this can be a source of great worry to parents who also need sleep. No matter how often this happens, or how irritating it may be, don't leave your toddler to cry; go to him immediately, provide comfort and try to find out what the problem is. It may be something easily remedied - he may be cold because the blanket or quilt has fallen off; he may be too hot; he may be thirsty; he may be teething.

On the other hand, it may be something less tangible: he may have woken up for none of these reasons and may just be afraid after a bad dream. The difficulty is that he can't explain what's upsetting him and you can't tell your toddler that he's got nothing to fear. What you should always do is provide love and affection, without any fear of spoiling.

Dealing with a sleepless child

• My husband and I did alternate nights “on duty”. One stayed with the child; the other remained undisturbed unless there was an emergency.

• We put up a camp bed next to the cot, and later the bed, so that we could put out a reassuring hand to pat him as he started to cry. This way neither of us really woke up at all.

• We gave the child 15 minutes to settle to any of our strategies, then we tried taking him in to our own bed - a sure-fire success.

• We only ever gave water or fruit juice at night, never milk, so as not to accustom the child to food.

Tips for early wakers

• Put a pile of cloth or board books at the bottom of the cot or bed for early morning “reading”. Make sure that there is enough light to see by; if there isn't, leave on a low-wattage night light when you put your toddler to bed.

• Put a soft box or plastic bucket at the side of the bed or cot with small toys, crayons, paper, bits of cloth or interesting household articles in it, so he can sort through and play with them.

• Leave a paper bag with some fresh fruit or bread at the bottom of the bed; never put the food in a plastic bag for safety reasons.

• Leave a drink in a beaker or cup within reach of your child.

Toodlers refusing to go to bed

According to the correspondence I get, there are more “difficult” babies around than most people realize, and they pose great problems for their parents. The baby who doesn't go to sleep at night is classically intelligent, physically very active, interested in everything that is going on around and openly affectionate. During the day these children are delightful and very rewarding, but you pay the penalty at night.

Two of my four sons were sleepless, demanding babies so I devised a few guiding principles for coping. You have to get your priorities right: no one can function properly for long without adequate sleep and you, as a parent, are no exception. Sleep is too important to miss and you are justified in doing whatever is necessary to get it, so adopt a few pragmatic rules as opposed to old-fashioned dogmatic ones:

• There is nothing magical about bedrooms. Let your child go to sleep where he is most comfortable: at your feet on the floor, on a couch, in your lap.


• Be flexible about bedtimes. Left to themselves, most children go to sleep at around seven or eight o'clock in the evening, whether you put them to bed or not. Why should they be unhappy in a room on their own, instead of being happy in your company?


• Give your child an early evening bath. This often relaxes children and makes them sleepy.


• If your child is proving difficult to get to go to bed, still put on his nightclothes before he's brought into the living room. If he falls asleep you won't have to wake him up again, you can just put him straight in to bed.


• If problems persist, talk to your health visitor. They are trained to support parents coping with common behaviour problems and should be able to suggest helpful strategies and techniques.

Rapid-return technique

• Go in, remain silent and put your baby down again.

• Repeat this immediate action of settling your baby back down in his cot as many times as it takes.

• Be patient and don't give in. You may have to repeat these actions up to 50 times on the first night.

• Follow through on the second night. You still may have to go to your baby as many as 20 times.

• The third night will be much better and your baby should be back to normal in about four nights.

Dr Miriam Stoppard

New Babycare
Copyright © 2009 Dorling Kindersley
Text copyright © 2009 Miriam Stoppard

Posted 03.11.2010

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