What new mums and dads need
There is a lot of adjustment and change on the horizon when you become a shiny-new mum or dad for the first time. Take a little step back and try to understand the needs of your partner in his or her new role.
What a new dad needs
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- recognize your difficulties. It'll help both of you if she can accept that this is a confusing and emotional time for you too
- give you some of her time. Caring for your baby will be time-consuming but it's good for you as a couple and as new parents if she can try to devote some time to your relationship
- allow you to make mistakes. If your partner gave birth in hospital, she'll have had more time to get used to your baby. She'll need to let you get used to handling and caring for your baby, too - and not criticize if you fumble at first
- be open about when to resume sex. You may feel like it before she does, but be understanding. Accept that it's probably better to be content with loving, non-penetrative sex until after she's had her six-week postnatal visit and she's had a chance to discuss contraception with her doctor.
What a new mum needs
- recognize her vulnerability. A new mother feels very exposed, both physically and emotionally, in the days after the birth
- appreciate the depth of her feelings. Try to accept the strength of your partner's overwhelming involvement in your baby. Even if this seems to exclude everyone else, don't see it as a rejection of yourself
- protect her privacy. One of your most important roles is to make sure your partner isn't exhausted by visitors. Help her get enough time and space to get used to breastfeeding and to recover from the labour and birth.
Posted 03.11.2010
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