Parenthood anxiety
It is perfectly normal to experience feelings of anxiety and worry as you move into your new role of parenthood.
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It is perfectly normal to experience feelings of anxiety and worry as you move into your new role of parenthood. Many of your fears will be dispelled at the first sight of your newborn baby.
Your fears are natural
Probably the most common anxiety is simply fear of parenthood. This can be fear of whether you will be a good parent or of whether you can cope with bringing up a child, or both. On top of this will be the worry about your child's happiness if you don't make a good job of it.
There will be economic anxieties. Even if both partners are working, the money that was once enough for two now has to cover the needs of three so it will be spread a little more thinly. This can mean luxuries and comforts, expensive holidays, a new car or decoration of the house may have to go by the board.
Another cause for anxiety will be the undoubted loss of freedom. No longer will you both be able to jump into the car and whizz off anywhere you like or go to a party on the spur of the moment. You can still enjoy life, but you'll have to factor in the baby's needs too.
All of these fears and anxieties are natural. There's nothing abnormal about worrying that you won't make the grade as a parent. Your feelings may be easier to cope with if you understand that both you and your child will be constantly changing. Your family unit, the way it develops and the feelings it engenders, is dynamic. There is a natural rhythm to human relationships, especially relationships in the home. They are never at a standstill. Sometimes you may worry that your home seems less than harmonious, but this is normal family life. And as well as the lows, parenthood will give you some of the most exciting highs you've ever felt.
Mixed emotions during parenthood
All the feelings of love that you have for your child will be mixed at one time or another with resentment, bitterness, anger, hostility and frustration. This is inevitable, in the same way that it's inevitable in any human relationship. The difference is that from your child you will gain rewards that no other person can give you. One of the rules that I have learned about parenting is that whatever you put in you will get back five hundred times over. So not only will your freedom increase as your child gets older, but so will the pleasures that she gives you. The sacrifices you make when your baby is young will be replaced by more and more pleasures. One of the greatest will be to see your baby turn from a dependent, demanding creature into a charming, thoughtful companion, an entertaining friend and a pal.
New Babycare
Copyright © 2009 Dorling Kindersley
Text copyright © 2009 Miriam Stoppard
Posted 03.11.2010
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