Have confidence in yourself as a mother
The baby you dreamt of is finally here and you are a mother for the very first time! You were so impatient to finally hold your little darling in your arms! But now baby’s here, you’re feeling quite helpless and hardly like a mother at all.
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You are realising that babies are both fragile and demanding and so you may be overcome with a lack of self-confidence. Am I going to be able do this? What if I make mistakes and harm my baby? Am I doing it right? Hold those thoughts and try getting in tune with your maternal instincts to win back a bit of confidence.
From a confident dream to a wobbly reality
You've no doubt read all the books and surfed all the forums... There are also people available to help and give you advice: midwives, doctors, nurses. The maternity ward is teeming medical staff to provide help; but what you still have questions, the first being breast feed or bottle-feed? In the end it’s up to you as being a mother also means taking responsibility for your choices and your baby will do well, whichever choice you make, if you believe in yourself.
Coping with over confident grandmothers
Your mother and mother-in-law are be as proud as can be and they’re more than happy to tell you how you should be doing things. But who knows what baby needs better than you?
While being a helpful source of information, their experience doesn’t replace your intuition, so don’t let yourself be distracted from what you feel is right: you’ll see, within a few weeks, you'll know almost as much as they do!
Eternal questions about feeding and sleep
Baby’s been sleeping for hours. Has it been too long? Should I wake him? Or perhaps your baby hardly sleeps at all. Is this normal? Has she drunk enough milk? Do I have enough breast milk? Perhaps you baby falls asleep before finishing his bottle, but awakes as soon as you place him in his crib? She cries in the bath... what should you do?
During the first few days, you’re full of burning, anxious questions; try to stay calm and learn to answer them for yourself. The advice recommended by those around you might not necessarily be what your baby needs and with time, you will learn to meet your baby’s needs - how to hold her under her stomach when she has colic, the best time of the day to give her bath...
Your child will, of course, help you to find your way. There’s no point in trying to feed a baby who’s not hungry, wake a child who’s sleepy or try and make a baby who’s curious to discover the world take a nap. You and your baby will work it out together.
Confidently communicating with your baby
Your newborn baby’s language is limited for now, but for you who spends the most time with him, he will find plenty of ways of expressing himself: sighing with satisfaction after feeding or crying angrily in hunger or tiredness, you will soon learn your baby’s ‘vocabulary’.
To do this, pay attention: leaving an infant to cry endlessly, under the pretext that it’s good for the lungs, isn’t the best way to reassure him! A child who has just entered the world, continuously faced with new experiences, needs you to comfort and reassure them: talk to your baby in adult language, with firmly pronounced comforting tones. He won’t understand you word for word, but will recognise your voice and understand the meaning of your message through repetition and voice tone.
You’ll be amazed at just how quickly you will understand each other.
Have confidence in your abilities
Of course, you don’t necessarily need to ignore other people’s advice, but it is up to you to understand your child. It is also your role not to let yourself be taken advantage of: your baby will notice very quickly how much Mummy is afraid of doing the wrong thing, and will make the most of it!
It’s up to you to set the limits: for example, instead of panicking because baby is crying, teach her to be a little patient before her bottle or feed; explain to her in that firmly toned and friendly voice why she needs to wait a few moments! The more confidence you have in yourself, the better your baby will do and your baby’s calm and wellbeing will also increase.
Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo
Posted 30.07.2010
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