Dad: getting to know your new baby
The first few weeks with your new baby are such an important time. You'll need to get to know her and start feeling comfortable in your new role. Your contribution is vital so spend as much time as you can with your baby.
The first few days with your new baby
© Jupiter
After the birth, you may be feeling an intense joy and elation that you want to share, while your partner seems a bit distant as her body recovers from labour and she tries to get breastfeeding started. Don't worry - there's plenty you can do that will involve you with both mother and baby.
Take the initiative
Don't wait to be asked to share your baby's care. Take the chance to learn how to do all the practical things your baby needs while your partner's still in hospital. It will help you bond with your baby, and allow your partner to get some rest.
Get to know your new baby
Use these early days to establish a close relationship. Even if your partner is in hospital, change your baby's nappies and get used to handling her. Talk to her, hold her close so that she can focus on your face, or simply hold her if she's asleep. Bring her to your partner when she needs to be fed, and try to be there to help when she has her first bath.
Be ready for your partner's mood swings
Some time during the first week your partner may get the “baby blues”. They can happen as a reaction to the sudden withdrawal of the pregnancy hormones and to all her new responsibilities. These “baby blues” are temporary and shouldn't last more than a week to ten days. Your partner may try to hide her feelings so as not to worry you or because she fears you won't take her seriously. Don't belittle her or make light of her state of mind - she has a lot to cope with. If her baby blues last more than two weeks, speak to your doctor to head off postnatal depression.
The new dad and baby relationship
Concentrate on building your relationship with your baby from the start and spend as much time as possible with her. Don't isolate yourself or just see yourself as the breadwinner - most fathers are entitled to some paternity leave nowadays so take full advantage of this. Being an equal partner in your baby's care will be enormously rewarding to you and will help your family as a whole.
Give your baby love
Babies need as much love and cuddles as they can get, and there's no difference between a mother's love and a father's love, except, of course, when your baby is hungry and needs breastfeeding. At all other times, she'll be just as happy with your closeness and attention. Being close and loving with your baby will mean that she learns to feel secure and content with both of you. This will help her settle and also take some pressure off your partner.
Support your partner
Your partner will be very tired in the early weeks after the hard work of the labour and birth, and from the physical and emotional responsibility of breastfeeding. Give her as much time and space as you can for coping with the feeding and reassure her constantly that she's doing a great job. Your support can make all the difference. If you've gone back to work and your partner's at home with the baby, phone home during the day and do as much as you can for your partner and your baby in the evenings and at weekends. Perhaps you could develop your own special routine with your baby.
Posted 30.06.2010
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