You and baby: the first weeks
At one time women weren't expected to appear in public for some while after giving birth. They spent this time getting their strength back. A period of peace and relaxation in the days immediately following the birth of a baby is vital. It gives both partners a chance to celebrate the birth, welcome and bond with their new baby, and adjust to their new roles as parents.
Becoming parents
© DK
It usually takes a while for new parents to adjust to their situation. Many feel a degree of panic when they realize the overwhelming responsibility they have to take on for this tiny, dependent human being. As with all major changes, it can take time for you to accept and feel comfortable in your new roles and, at the beginning, you may catch yourself hoping that someone else is going to come and take over.
The solution is to give yourselves time and space to get to know and feel comfortable with your baby. The first few weeks are also important for establishing breastfeeding, so it's best to stay as rested and relaxed as possible and to continue to eat well.
Welcoming your baby in the first weeks
Every mother daydreams about her unborn child. But fitting the image of this “dream child” to the reality of the newborn baby you're holding in your arms is not always easy - especially if your baby is the opposite sex to the one you expected, or isn't quite “perfect”, or is simply different from what you expected.
It takes time to fall in love with your baby and to learn how to be a mother - or a father. Time spent together will give you the space you need to become adjusted, and to allow you to get used to being parents. You may prefer to keep your baby with you in your bedroom at first. If she's close at hand, feeding will be easier and your nights may be more restful.
Resting and relaxing
The first weeks can seem like a never-ending round of feeding and changing, with snatches of time for catching up or resting when your baby is asleep. Lots of people will ring up and want to come and see you and your baby. Talk to your partner about this and decide together how best to deal with visitors. Don't feel that you have to entertain - you need to save your strength for your baby and breastfeeding. In fact you may opt to tell family and friends that you want to be on your own for the first two weeks and ask them to understand that you want to spend that time solely bonding with each other and with your baby. This is sometimes called a “babymoon” - in other words, a baby honeymoon. It gives a real boost to your new life to start it this way, sharing all the care of your new baby with each other. It has the great advantage that dad can be there the whole time to learn hands-on baby care and to get to know his new child intimately, meaning that he'll bond very strongly to his baby.
Support
Close friends and relatives always want to help, so perhaps a couple of them could make this an extra-special time for you by taking on some household chores, preparing food, and so on. Your helpers might also be invaluable sources of support, particularly if they've had children themselves. On the other hand, some new parents find that everyone wants to give them advice, which can be confusing or different from your own ideas. If this happens, try talking things through with your midwife or health visitor, who'll be able to clear up any confusion.
Other children
If you already have a child or children, you'll need to include them in this family time after the birth. If you've had your baby in hospital, your other children will want their share of your attention once you're back home. They'll enjoy cuddling up with you, talking or reading to the baby, and being together will help to head off any feelings of jealousy. But it'll help all of you if a friend or relative they love and trust can give them some extra individual attention during these first weeks.
Your time together with your baby
Plan to take some time out immediately following the birth of your baby. Don't feel you have to get back to normal straight away - if you try, you'll become overtired and miss out on enjoying your new baby.
Provisions
Before the birth stock up as much as possible with things you'll need - favourite nutritious foods, drinks (you'll need plenty of fluid if you're breastfeeding), clothes, sanitary towels, cotton wool, nappies.
Nurturing
You and your partner will nurture your newborn baby and your partner will nurture you. Spoil yourselves!
Bonding
Give yourselves both time and space to get to know and bond with your baby.
Nesting
Make your bed the centre of the household - talk, entertain, cuddle, and picnic there.
Visitors
Limit visitors. Don't feel you have to play hostess, and do put a card on the front door saying you're resting if you don't feel like seeing anyone just then - they can always come back another time.
Callers
If you have an answer phone you could alter the message to include a birth announcement, and perhaps explain that you are resting at present, but that you would love to talk to them in a few days.
Your first week's baby experience
Your baby has arrived in a brand-new world and into a warm, intimate, and loving environment.
Daily routine
At first he won't have a recognizable pattern of behaviour. He'll begin to settle down into an established routine of feeding and sleeping by the time he's 3-6 weeks old.
Sensations
He'll prefer looking at your face than at unfamiliar people and things, and he'll be reassured by the smell of your skin and his dad's. He'll look towards new sounds, and will be startled if they're loud or unexpected. He'll enjoy the taste of your milk and he'll love being cuddled, touched, and massaged.
Communicating
Crying is his main way of communicating. He'll cry if he's hungry, tired, upset, bored, or feels lonely. He'll also cry if he senses that you or his father are tense or tired.
Posted 30.06.2010
Get more on this subject…
