Learning: communicating with your baby
Your baby's emotional and intellectual development during the first weeks of life is growing at exactly the same rate as every other form of her development, from her size and weight to her ability to co-ordinate.
© DK
I believe that, initially, the most important person in a baby's life is the one who most consistently looks after her. In the majority of cases this is the mother. You are her most important teacher. As adults we learn the most important and the most memorable lessons of our lives from people whom we like and with whom we have a good rapport. If there is a special feeling of closeness, common ground, empathy and understanding with the teacher, then the lessons can be even more salutary and lasting. Exactly the same applies to your baby. All her learning will be made easier if she establishes strong bonds with you, her teacher, very early in life. A close runner-up to you is your partner. Your partner is your baby's next best friend; he (or she) should form a strong relationship with your baby as early as possible and be involved in as much of the “teaching” as you are.
The teaching you give your child is not teaching in a formal sense; there are no specific rules and no particular targets that your child has to reach. You can and should “teach” your baby by making the world interesting for her. Introduce her to new experiences, explain everything that you see and, above all, join in with every activity so that you and your baby learn together. You have to give encouragement at all times, give praise when even the smallest thing is achieved, and provide constant support, especially if your child fails to do something that she really wants to do. Without your support your child won't gain the confidence she needs.
Look at your baby
In the early days it is a prerequisite to face your baby; facial contact is extremely important. One of the few things that a baby responds to visually in the first days of life is a human face (see Bonding). Your newborn baby has to see that face as close as 20-25cm (8-10in) from her own, so bring your face up close to your baby's and make it “interesting”. Move your head as you talk; raise your eyebrows and, most important of all, smile. Look deep into your baby's eyes all the time, and make constant eye contact. It has been shown that parents who face their children while they are feeding or playing with them, and look into their eyes, are much less likely to use corporal punishment to discipline their children as they grow up. It's hardly surprising that the children of such parents are much better able to form relationships with people as they get older.
Have conversations
Your baby holds her first conversation with smiles. The conversation goes something like this: you are chatting away to your baby about any subject you like with your face about 20-25cm (8-10in) away. You are animated and you smile a lot. Your baby sees this as a friendly approach. Every baby has the natural human desire to respond in a friendly way, and so she smiles back. You are delighted with her recognition, her response and her friendly smile. You smile some more, you may laugh, you may cuddle her, you may kiss her. She loves that, so she smiles more to please you. You do more things to please her, and so the conversation goes on.
What is interesting about this kind of interaction between parent and baby is that your baby has learned two very important lessons. A smile from her gets a smile back. It may even get more substantial rewards like hugs and cuddles, as well as praise and approbation. The second lesson is that she has found a way of pleasing you and interacting with you. She will learn that she can initiate this interaction and she'll go on to use this method with other people. It is well known that the amount of smiling a baby does is related to her intelligence because it shows that she has learned that if she smiles the world will like her and life will be more pleasant. So you have given her a very good start in coming to terms with and managing the world around her.
Read to your baby
Children love books and your child will respond from a surprisingly early age if you look at them with her and read to her from them. Reading books together will teach your child about colours, the alphabet, numbers and names for simple objects. Your baby's never too young to be read to - your voice will be soothing to her, and you'll soon find that books at bedtime are a useful and pacifying part of your evening routine. The bonus you may never expect is that once you have introduced your child to books she may want to read them by herself too. You'll have done her a great service because you'll not only have introduced her to the idea of entertaining herself, but also to a pleasure that will last her for the rest of her life - reading and learning from books.
I suggest you start off with board books as they are brightly coloured and robustly made. For variety, buy some pop-up books as well but resign yourself to your baby's rough treatment of them.
New Babycare
Copyright © 2009 Dorling Kindersley
Text copyright © 2009 Miriam Stoppard
Posted 30.06.2010
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