Tips for making separation easier
Children well over the age of three still dislike being separated from their parents, even if you are only going to spend the evening out of the house. Up to the age of five or six it is quite usual for a child to shed a few tears until she is reassured about some of the details of the evening.
Separation anxieties
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One of the most difficult separations for a child of this age is when her mother goes into hospital for the birth of a new baby. Apart from the jealousy that most children feel at this time (see Possible personality concerns in toddlers), there is the additional upheaval of the separation from the mother.
Prepare your toddler well in advance of the birth by talking about the new baby, about you going into hospital, and who will look after her while you are away. Ideally it should be someone she knows well who understands her routine and who can ensure that it continues while you are away. Try to let her visit you as often as possible while you are in hospital.
Making separation easier
- Always spend a few minutes with your child quietly doing something nice before you leave. Never rush off without proper leave-taking.
- If you make a promise that you will be back by a certain time keep it and, as you are going, remind your child that you will always come back. If you are delayed, telephone to explain why.
- Have a goodbye ritual - to tell a story or play a game, to give a hug, to blow a kiss as you get into the car, to wave to your child as she stands on the step, or to honk your horn as you leave.
- Think up a few games - kiss a child's palm and fold her fingers around it. Tell her if she needs a kiss while you're away there is one for her.
- Never keep the fact that you're going out a secret from your child. Talk about it well ahead of time.
- If you are going to have a babysitter ask her to come a good half hour before you leave so she can start a game with your child before you go.
New Babycare
Copyright © 2009 Dorling Kindersley
Text copyright © 2009 Miriam Stoppard
Posted 03.11.2010
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