Handling and holding your toddler
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A toddler needs much less holding and carrying than a young baby but there will still be times when she'll signal that she wants to be carried, just like she used to be. If you ignore these signals she'll probably cry.
Security and cuddling your toddler
You may find that she wants to be carried when she's tired; when you've been out for a long walk; when your toddler's cutting a tooth; if she isn't feeling well; if she's fearful or if you have been away. Don't hesitate to give this kind of physical support and affection. She will give you a clear signal when she is reassured and will wriggle down and run off.
We never outgrow the need for physical affection. Always recognize this in your children; never scoff at it and always give it. When my children were growing up, they liked a cuddle every now and then, especially when they were tired or had had a difficult day at school, if they were fearful about my departure or absence or if the world simply didn't feel right. Even when children are quite old they may still want to sit on your knee occasionally. In unfamiliar circumstances they may even like to sit on your knee while eating, particularly if strangers are present and they feel that they are under observation. Don't ridicule your child for wanting this. If it is convenient, let her sit on your knee; there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and a few moments of your touch will give your child the confidence to handle the situation in her own way. To my mind, a child should never have to go to bed without some cuddling to provide a sense of security and the reassuring feeling that you really do care.
Bringing reassurance and sympathy to your toddler
When your young child is hurt, worried, puzzled or frightened, always be there with an encircling, comforting arm and a sympathetic word. But do give such reassurances as these in the form that your child wants and don't overpower her with your physical affection when she makes obvious signs that she doesn't require it. Of course there are some children who don't like to be handled or cuddled very much. They usually show this from a very early age by stiffening their bodies and crying when you hold them. This can be quite difficult for a parent to cope with because it seems like rejection (see Respond to his behaviour). These babies usually grow up to be children who avoid physical contact and usually turn their heads away if you lean to kiss them. They make no physical overtures themselves and can be really quite difficult children to show affection to and to love in an overt way. They may never learn how to accept physical affection nor to be comfortable with it. If your child is like this, the only way for you to treat her is to not make the discomfort worse by thrusting physical affection on her. Respect your child's diffidence. Wait for her to come to you and only give your physical affection when she shows you by her actions that she wants it.
Avoiding back strain
Babies and toddlers inevitably require lots of lifting and carrying, not to mention the prams, pushchairs and other equipment that go along with them, so it is important for the protection of your back that you learn a lifting technique that avoids injury and strain. Don't lift with straight legs and curved back, as this puts strain on the back. Instead, keep your back straight, bend your knees and lift, using the powerful thigh muscles to take the weight.
New Babycare
Copyright © 2009 Dorling Kindersley
Text copyright © 2009 Miriam Stoppard
Posted 30.06.2010
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